Issues with my girls.

I have had issues with my breasts since about the age of 12. That's when I noticed other girls developing and my lack thereof. It didn't matter if I gained or lost weight, those ever dependable perky girls never moved an inch! I was teased and tormented, the usual happenings in any school. I also had a daily reminder of my shortcomings....my younger sister developed into a DD right before my SEETHING jealous eyes. Cruel Mother Nature did give me a glimpse of what I was missing while breastfeeding, only to take them away (and THEN some) after my babes were weaned. This truly was NOT fair!

As a teen I did the usual stuffing of my bras with Kleenex to try and fill them out more, only later to see a picture taken that night and see my magic solution hanging out for all to see....*sigh* I had thought about the implant route, but money was an issue and I was a little afraid of the entire procedure. So about 10 years ago I saw these wondrous little silicon jobbies that you can put in your bra to give that fuller look that I was LONGING for! I immediately ordered them off the TV and awaited by my mailbox.

When they arrived I was like a kid at Christmas. I couldn't WAIT to get into that package to see the answer to all my problems!! As I took them out of the box I felt the soft squishy forms. They looked like chicken cutlets that had somehow been preserved into this breast-like material. I was SOLD!! I wore these every time I went out. It made me stand a little straighter and feel better about myself. Scary that it took a piece of blobby silicon to do that!

Fast forward to the Winter of 1998 when DH and I met. I was still bestest buddies with my cutlets and was using them to secure my place in DH's heart. Looking back I think they were trying to sabotage the union more than cement it in stone. On one of our first dates, we decided to go swimming at a local pool. Fun times!! So I brought along my trusty enhancers and waded out into the water. Now CLEARLY I had not thought this whole "objects in the bathing suit" thing through and never considered movement of the cutlets around in my suit. There were many adjustments being made as we sat in the hot tub and I was trying to read Dh's face to see if he was onto my covert operation in the 102 degree waters. Dh then says "Let's go jump off the high tower! that will be FUN!" and I, like a love struck IDIOT, jumped out and made my way to the ladder of the tower. Now it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what happened next. I jumped off, gravity sucked me down into the water at warp speed and 2 seconds after I hit the water both my friends exited their confines left and right. There I was MORTIFIED underwater trying to grab at these blobs before they made their way down to the 12 foot bottom. DH was, of course, waiting for me on the side of the pool which only upped my anxiety to find these suckers and keep the phasad up. Through the grace of god I did find them both and managed to slap them back in and resurface with him none the wiser I had thought. He now tells me that he saw me scrambling around underwater and wondered why I was doing a syncho swim expedition in the dive tank. He now knows the truth.

I have to say that I still have my girls close to my heart most days if the occasion calls. Our relationship has grown strong over the years and I know how far I can push them and their limitations. Dh has always maintained that he is NOT a breastman but when the girls are positioned perfectly I can't ignore the glimmer in his eye as he comes over to greet me from work. I know that breasts would not make our relationship any stronger but I think they would make my self esteem sky rocket. One of my friends got a breast enhancement recently and she looks AMAZING. They are the perfect size for her frame and do not look fake in any sense. Can you sense my jealousy? Maybe one day I will be able to shelf my cutlets and go for a more permanent solution but until then they will be one of my most valuable fashion accessories.