Tattling...the upside.

So I wake up early this morning..around 5am because DH works days and sometimes I just can't get back to sleep. I turn on the TV and surf the channels. Jaws....always get stuck on that movie, don't know quite what that's about....always have to see the line "You need a bigger boat". Cracks me up. Surf some more and go by the "Slim in Six" advertisement and watch, in complete jealousy, at the transformations. I decided then and there I am going to RUN this morning before the kids get up. How ambitious of me!!

Uhoh...what was that noise? An opening door? *SLAM* well that certainly was one closing. Some footsteps and a door opens again.

Stay VERY quiet..maybe she will hop back into her crib and go back to sleep until 9am. Yeah and I'll just wave to the pig flying by my window. *SLAM* the door closes again.

I must be delirious because that clearly isn't going to happen. I get up and go find the slamming door offender.

It is, as I suspected, my 3 year old who informs me it's sunny and she stayed in bed all night. Yes that is wonderful seeing as we had to deal with your brother last night TWICE between the hours of 3:30am and 5am. So I usher her into our bedroom to watch some TV before her brother wakes up and try and make her WHISPER instead of yelling at me. (what is it with 3 year olds not knowing how to whisper? I am still delirious it would seem)

So I get her all tucked in bed and turn on the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and she is mesmerized. I take this as a sign that I should get my workout gear on and go run on the treadmill before child #2 wakes up and all opportunities are gone. I've only half clocked into motherhood...this could SOO happen!! I can look like those chickies on the TV dammit!! I tell her the plan and that she should stay and watch TV and not get out of bed(seriously, I am now positive I am delirious). I say I will be downstairs running and would be up in 20 mins..the show wouldn't even be over by then!! This is looking like a stellar idea!! Yeah MOM!!

I kiss her and say I will be "right back"...damn foreshadowing. I go downstairs and get my workout gear out of the dryer. While I am down there I hear the water turn on and then turn off. Hmmmm....My Mommy antenna pops up out of my head like a weathervane. Water? why the hell is water turning on at 6:20am? I think maybe it is the sprinklers...YEAH that's it..the SPRINKLERS!! They turn on for 3 seconds and turn off right? suuuuuuuuuuuuure they do! 10 seconds later I hear little footsteps clomping across the floor. OK crap, now I have to go see what's up.

I go upstairs and she is going in her room. I say "C what are you DOING??? you are supposed to be watching TV!" (hopefully I will able to count on one hand how many times I say THAT sentence) She looks at me dumbfounded. I get closer to her and notice something. Something is different....her hair is the same length...check.....clothes do not seem stained in any way....check......no weird smells.........check.....I get closer. The girl is sporting some RED lips. These are not her cute little rosebud lips...these are some lips that have had some help. I look at her hand and she has cleverly hidden the tube in her hand at her side. FRIGGIN FRAK I have only been gone 3 minutes?? What is she Bionic girl?? I grab it and suddenly things start flashing at me as to the scene I am about to discover in my bathroom. I walk fast into our bedroom and open the bathroom door.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The girl had taken anything in a tube and squished them out in my sink!!! There was red lipstick all over the counter and some things that were not up to her standards (I'm assuming) were tossed in the garbage. OMG Prozac..I need some NOW! Alcohol?? NO it's not even 6 freakin THIRTY!!! BREATHE.......chant......bang your head on the faucet!! Suddenly my quiet Sunday morning Mommy voice was gone and the fact that there was anyone else in the house sleeping was a mute point.

Yes, I woke up child #2 and after some choice words, dd was put in the corner at 6:24am.

I decide not to scold ds anymore for tattling on his sister. At least it gives us a fighting chance.

Where's my coffee....crap I only have decaf. Waaaaaaaaaaa. Donuts..I need LOTS of donuts.